


Your Left, My Right

by spunkyMaverick



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Gen, No Context, Time Travel, don't take this seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 02:22:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16864411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spunkyMaverick/pseuds/spunkyMaverick
Summary: Lucius is a little baby time traveler. Nobody knows what's going on.





	Your Left, My Right

 

Stormy grey eyes open to see a window, a table, and a boy with red hair and glasses. Lucius's gaze narrows in on the glasses on the boy before him. His thoughts dash this way and that in confusion before settling on one thing. Those glasses remind him so much of  _ Harry Potter  _ – the Boy Who Lived, the Chosen One. The guy who killed the most amazing and precious thing to him, who killed his son, killed Draco. Lucius stands up and leaps over the table, forgoing his wand to strangle to ginger.

 

The red-haired boy cries out. In awe, Lucius guesses, of his strength. Of the gall that he would have to invoke justice unto the boy. He shoves Lucius away fiercely, causing him to fall back. Lucius now has a wand pointed to him.

 

Lucius's head shakes a few times and he taps his fingers on the carpet beneath them. The blonde growls out, “You should  _ die _ .”

 

“Are you alright?” the other asks, his face screwing up in an indescribable expression. Pity? But Lucius doesn't need pity, doesn't want pity.

 

“Back away, Weasley! I don't want your filth on me,” Lucius hisses as he crawls back, his mind straightening enough to connect the appearance with a name. “Now, where are you taking me?”

 

Weasley narrows his eyes at him and scowls. Lucius scowls back and gives a threatening growl.

 

“We're going to Hogwarts, if that answers your question,” Weasley answers cryptically. Of course. Weasley is taking him to their leader, to Dumbledore. But Dumbledore is dead. So they have a new leader? But who?

 

“I don't know what you have planned, but I'm not falling for it!” he yells as he stands up and digs in his pocket for his wand. He pulls out some unfamiliar stick that looks nothing like his wand. “And what's this?!”

 

“Kid, just calm down, okay?” Weasley says, starting to panic. He must have finally realized the situation he's in. That's the only logical explanation.

 

“Calm down? Ha! I am calm!” Lucius responds, letting the glasses-wearing boy see a wide smile that makes Weasley step back and morph his face to one of fear and maybe something else. He hears something, and then, inky darkness sneaks into his peripheral vision. He blinks once and then… 

  
  


Lucius blinks, and he is looking up at an older woman. He is lying in a bed. He blinks a few more times as she speaks to him, but his mind doesn't associate any of these sounds with words. They sound rather funny though, like a monkey.

 

Lucius grins widely and mimics monkey noises, “Ooh-ooh! Ah! Oh!”

 

He chuckles to himself as the woman looks at him oddly. Her words finally begin making sense. Sort of.

 

“Okay, Mr. Malfoy. How are you feeling?” she inquires of him.

 

“Fine,” he answers, confused now. Why wouldn't he? He's feeling amazing in fact. Before he can tell as much, she just nods and begins to ask him some questions, which he answers.

 

Name? Lucius Malfoy, of course! Age? He assures her that he's been 40 since his last birthday, which gets him a weird look as she marks something on a clipboard. His father's name? Abraxas Malfoy. His hair color? He reaches up and frowns at the shortness of his hair.

 

“I should have long, flowing locks of blonde hair,” Lucius informs her. “You cut it off!”

 

At his accusation, the woman denies the claim. She then tells him to remain where he is while she gets a teacher to guide him to the Headmaster’s office.

 

“I'm not going with anybody anywhere!” Lucius yells at her as he grabs his wand from the table beside him, throws himself to the floor, and rolls under the bed.

  
  


It isn't long until he sees the feet of the Headmaster before the bed he had taken refuge under.

 

“Hello, Mr. Malfoy,” comes the calm voice of Albus Dumbledore.

 

“Hello, Mr.  _ Dead _ -dore,” responds Lucius. Dumbledore laughs at this, which makes the boy clench his teeth in frustration. The old man isn't upset at all! Of course, why would a dead man react at all?

 

“What has brought you to the underside of the hospital bed?” the elderly man asks Lucius.

 

“I'm not answering to you, old man!” Lucius exclaims.

 

“Oh? Who will you answer to then?” Dumbledore inquires. Lucius goes quiet as he thinks. Who will he answer to. His parents? No. They're dead. Severus? He's a family friend, but he was closer to Narcissa than himself. Draco? Draco is dead and gone and never coming back and his sweet boy. Narcissa? Wouldn't she be angry at him for not killing Harry Potter though? He couldn't bear to tell her that he failed. So who's left?

 

“Get Bellatrix. I have words,” Lucius decides.

 

And moments pass before he can hear the feel footsteps of Bellatrix Black followed by another pair.

 

“What did you want, sir?” Bellatrix asks in a too-sweet voice that makes Lucius want to gag.

 

“Right there. Mr. Malfoy said he would talk through you.”

 

He sees Bellatrix's head look under the bed to see him curled up and pointing his wand at her. She cracks and grin and asks, “Kid, what are you doing?”

 

“They're the enemy,” he whispers. “I'm from the future. They killed my boy. I can't tell Narcissa that Draco is dead. She'd be devastated.”

 

“Huh. Sounds exciting. Who killed him?” she inquires, now lying on her stomach and popping her head on her hand.

 

“Harry Potter. He wanted revenge! No wonder the Dark Lord wanted him dead! He's a child-murdering child,” Lucius responds. “Chosen One, my ass.”

 

“Uh-huh. And by Dark Lord, you mean?”

 

“I mean, the Dark Lord. The guy we’re loyal to. You know, old no-nose. You had a crush on him. Had a child in my basement? None of this ringing a bell?” Lucius inquires.

 

“As fun as that would be, you sound absolutely mad,” Bellatrix tells him. “Whoever you're talking about, I'm not them.”

 

“Let me see your arm.”

 

“My arm?”

 

“Yes! The left arm!”

 

“My left or your left?”

 

“Your left, my right.”

 

Bellatrix shows a pale and ink-free arm to Lucius. No spells, charms, or curses seem to be covering it. Not that one can cover the Dark Mark like that. 

 

“I see.”

 

*** years later •w•

 

“Oh my Merlin!”

 

“What is it?” Lord Voldemort inquires in mild annoyance, quite used to Bellatrix's outbursts at this point. “It's Harry Potter!”

 

“What is?”

 

“The Chosen One! It's Harry Potter!”

 

“How do you know that?”

 

“It adds up. Lucius Malfoy is crazy but a time traveler.”

 

“Oh. Then, let's kill Harry Potter.”

 

“But wait. What if he change it up and kill the other boy since we know Harry will live anyways?”

 

“Then, let's kill the Longbottom child and torture the Potters.”

 

“Hurray!”


End file.
